In Response To Spam 2007/02/22
One of my jobs at work is to monitor/block spam at the server level. As part of that, I collect the user-reported spam and use it to improve the filters. I have to review that spam just to be sure someone didn’t accidentally report any “real” messages. Reviewing the senders and subject lines of a few hundred spams at a time is more amusing than you might think. (Or maybe it just makes me a little loopy and I only think it’s funny.) So, if I may copy a concept from another Lotus Notes blogger at http://chris-linfoot.net/, I present to you…In Response To Spam:
- Spam Says…250 CoLoR business cards - totally - COMPLIMENTRY
I Say…If you misspell complimentary in your subject line, how can I trust you not to typo my business cards? - Spam Says…Anna Nicole Smith embalming completed
I Say…Embalmer quoted as saying “There really wasn’t much for me to do.” - Spam Says…Cable Doesnt Want You To See This
I Say…If it weren’t for cable, I wouldn’t be seeing this. - Spam Says…Do you know how elusive email addresses are
I Say…Apparently, not elusive enough. - Spam Says…DREAMS DO COME TRUE.
I Say…Then a spam-free world is within reach? - Spam Says…Enquiry regarding Marketing Strategies of your company
I Say…Like I’m going to take advise from someone whose marketing strategy is “spam”? - Spam Says…Get Free Cheerios Delivered to your Door
I Say…Ok, I couldn’t think of something smart to say to that…but I thought it was cute. - Spam Says…Gotta sec
I Say…Not really, but like most people who ask that question, you really don’t care about the answer, do you? - Spam Says…It starts by discussing basic concepts of networks, and TCP/IP-based networks in particular.
I Say…And the abuse thereof using SMTP, perhaps? - Spam Says…Pain goes
I Say…Please, make it stop! - Spam Says…Please be discreet
I Say…Oh, come on. I know I’m not the only one you’ve sent this to. What’s the point of being discreet? - Spam Says…The email part features an introduction of the more intimate parts of mail transport and routing, and the myriads of addressing
I Say…Somehow I knew you’d get to this part. - Spam Says…violence request
I Say…Tell us who and where you are, spammer, and we could fulfill that request!