Every year someone in our family decides to start the “we aren’t exchanging gifts this year” discussion. There is always the claim to the finest motivations: being anti-consumerist, too many family members, having to much stuff anyway, etc. So, they tell everyone not to give gifts. Maddeningly, they wait until after December 1st to do it.
Now, I am not materialistic. But I really enjoy giving gifts. I like the challenge of finding something within my budget, that I think really fits the recipient. I shop (and craft) year round and store things up for Christmas. So, I have already gotten a lot of my shopping done by the time this discussion starts, which makes it sort of a moot point.
Additionally, I like to honor the tradition of gift giving which, according to my religion, was started on Christmas when God gave us his Son. Giving you a little joy gives me a little joy as well. So, no matter what you say, I am going to give gifts. I don’t require you to give them; don’t feel guilty if you don’t. But, I get a kick out of it and you aren’t going to rain on my parade!
Another reason some people don’t want to exchange gifts is that they don’t want to get stuff they don’t need. Hey – We’ve all gotten that awkward handmade gift. It builds character to allow your kids to receive things they don’t want and teach them to do so graciously. If you feel you already have enough character, I refer you to the paragraph above…allow the giver the chance to feel the joy of giving you something.
None of the above is really a reason to forego gift giving. If you really don’t want to receive something you don’t want, then what you really need to do is write your wish list. I know – you probably haven’t done that since you were a kid. You are thinking “but the problem is that there is not anything that I want!” you’ll need to adjust your thinking…instead of what you want, how about what you don’t mind getting more of? The following is a template that can be used by anyone of any age, and should result in a list that is junk-free, provides ideas at several price points (including free gifts of time/talent), and gives your happy-givers plenty of ideas.
And if you are the person who wants to give something ,but never knows what to give, you can ask your relatives to complete the list below to give you some ideas.
THE PERFECT WISH LIST TEMPLATE:
1. Favorite candy, snack food, etc. -For stocking stuffers or a gift basket.
2. Favorite baked good(s) made by your relatives.
3. Common item you are always running out of. (Printer paper, Ibuprofen, etc.)
4. Common household item that needs replaced this year. (Bath towels, can opener, etc.)
5. Place you shop at. (grocery store, discount store, department store) – For gift cards.
6. Online service you use (music, movies, tech, etc.) – For gift cards/prepaid codes.
7. Favorite restaurant(s) – For gift cards.
8. Charities or causes you support. -For them to give/serve in your honor.
9. Activity you enjoy/place you go. (Place you golf, concert you want to attend, etc.)
10. Something you need someone to do for you. (Oil changed, shelf installed, dog walked.) – For gifts of service
ONLY AFTER LISTING THE ABOVE, you can list specific items. Be sure to list the size, color, brand, features, etc. If you have a link to a webpage to buy the item, put it here. Try thinking of:
1. Things you have been meaning to buy and haven’t gotten yet. (Bath mats instead of towels on the floor for your new apartment.)
2. Things you should replace, but have been putting off. (That tatty puffy coat.)
3. Things you think you would like but are afraid to waste your own money on. (That only-on-tv gadget that sounds too good to be true.)
When you hand out your list, you can always preface it with “I don’t really want anyone to spend money on me this year. But this is in case you don’t listen.” Oh, and, you should probably keep in mind that handing it out NOW might be a little late for this year. But there’s always next year.